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Changing others is neurotic, changing yourself is God

When I was young, if someone asked me what do you want to do in the future. My answer was - I want to change the world. I am not joking, I really replied to adults with this exact answer. Now I am a mother of two children, and in my midlife, I slowly understand it is impossible to change others, and I have been wasting too much time on others, and I would like to pay more attention to myself. Especially withholding the expectation that one day, this person would do “this” for me (which had never happened). At times, I realized the only thing I can do is to change myself.

The other day I read this from the internet.

“When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world.

I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation.

When I found I couldn’t change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn’t change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family.

Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.”

For many years, the reason that makes us unhappy or unfulfilled is we constantly expect something or someone to change for us or according to our way, but the truth is, the world is not going to always go our way, if we realized that, we could be easier to let it go. After those years learning and studying yoga, I understand that there are only 3 businesses in this world - my business, other people's business, God's business. And do you know what business you can control the most? My business. So from now on, focus on our own business.

Last but not least, I would like to share with you the quote from Rumi

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”


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